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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Neigh: One Pony's Journey

  • Writer: marti mcginnis
    marti mcginnis
  • Apr 15
  • 4 min read

Let's get one thing straight: I never set out to be a buckaroo. In fact, I'm pretty sure Goldie - my ever-suspicious, stripe-pole-hating Mexican campo pony - never finished the paperwork on this type of partnership. Yet here we are: A snack-hoarding gringa and her paranoid pony prancing into competition tests… praying we don’t become a cautionary meme.


The buckaroo tradition began in the early 1800s when the American Southwest was still Mexico, born from vaqueros who blended Spanish horsemanship with the stubborn generosity of the high desert. These riders didn't conquer; they collaborated—with the land, their horses, and each other. Now, two centuries later, a retired Midwesterner and her skeptical pony are stumbling into that same tradition with our: questionable geometry, EU (equine union) mandated work slowdowns, and a bucket of cultural appreciation. This is how we preserve legacy. Featuring: heirloom-quality tack and Goldie’s director’s cut, ‘All These Jumps Are Out to Get Me.’ Bonus content includes: blooper reels of botched transitions and play-by-play commentary of my increasingly unhinged pep talks.

1. Our Buckaroo Roots: The Anti-Cowboy Rebellion

History Lesson (Now With 40% More Relevance) The American buckaroo wasn't just a fancy hat and longer reins. It was the original quiet quitting movement.

  • Vaquero Legacy: Mexican horsemanship meets Spanish flair, minus the colonial baggage. Basically horsemanship's best remix.

  • Anti-Imperialist Vibes: While cowboys became mascots for manifest destiny, buckaroos were just trying not to die in the desert with their horses. Priorities.

  • Community Over Ego: No lone rangers here—just people passing down rawhide braiding skills and the patience of saints.


Why This Speaks to Me As an American in Mexico, I'm painfully aware of my country's... complicated résumé. The buckaroo's humility feels like horsemanship without the historical hangover. (Also, their hats stay on in wind. Pure engineering marvel and stampede tie strings.)

2. Why The Buckaroo Philosophy Fits My Vibe

Cowboy vs. Buckaroo Mindsets

  • Cowboy: "Git 'er done!" (Translation: "Who needs feel when you have spurs?")


    Disclaimer: The cowboy’s haste is not recklessness—it’s avant-garde problem-solving. Picasso had his Blue Period; cowboys have their "Hold My Beer" Era. Both are widely misunderstood.

  • Buckaroo: "Take the time it takes." (Translation: "Let's not give the horse PTSD, yeah?")

We started 100% cowgirl - but have since adopted the buckaroo style
We started 100% cowgirl - but have since adopted the buckaroo style

My Current Reality

  • Priorities:

    1. Stay upright

    2. Pretend I don't see Goldie pretending not to recognize jumps we've practiced 347 times

    3. Maybe complete something resembling a circle

  • Life Hack: While America argues about [insert current dilemma]], I'm engaged in meaningful diplomacy—convincing one suspicious equine that no, the judge's stand isn't plotting against him. Probably.


3. Goldie & Me: Two Masterpieces in Progress

Our Professional Credentials

  • Goldie: Former campo pony. Trust issues consultant. Specializes in interpretive spooking and dramatic sighs.

  • Me: Enthusiastic amateur. Primary skill: carrot-based negotiation. Currently studying "How to Stop Confusing Your Horse."

Training Highlights

  • "The I've Never Seen This Obstacle Before" Routine (He has. 94 times.)

  • "Is That New?" Goldie's award-winning performance art piece about familiar objects

  • Breakthroughs: When he tolerates my existence. Chef's kiss.

Philosophy "We'll get there when Goldie decides we're getting there. His union rep (the ranch tiger cat) says breaks are mandatory."

4. Our Kit: Where Tradition Meets Trial-and-Error

The Saddle Handmade in León by actual artists who laugh politely at my Spanish. Not just tack—a love letter to Mexican craftsmanship.

The Headstall & Bit

  • One-ear design because Goldie believes symmetry is overrated

  • Currently testing a "comfort" snaffle (comfort for whom remains debated)

The Fashion

  • Vintage pearl-snaps (because dressing well is the easiest part of this)

  • Fringed chinks (practical AND fabulous—the mullet of equestrian gear)

  • Buckaroo hat with milagros (each representing a prayer for survival)

Why This Works

  • Respects tradition without playing dress-up

  • Supports actual artisans instead of Amazon

  • Goldie-approved (his exact rating: "Less terrible than expected")

I’ve tweaked our kit to reflect a more Buckaroo style - super appropriate because of it’s Spanish-Mexican-American roots
I’ve tweaked our kit to reflect a more Buckaroo style - super appropriate because of it’s Spanish-Mexican-American roots

5. Why We're Winning (By Our Own Standards)

Our Victories

  • That one time we completed a pattern without Goldie auditing the jumps first

  • When the judge smiled despite everything

  • Being the crowd favorite for "Most Likely to Have Interesting Outfits and Questionable Geometry"

The Real Goal A partnership where Goldie tolerates me, I laugh at myself, and we both get extra snacks for showing up.

Final Thought These days when people ask about current events, I just sigh and say "I'm focused on more important negotiations"—like whether Goldie will acknowledge that poles can exist in his orbit today. His trust issues may be legendary, but at least they're honest. Unlike my attempts to explain dressage geometry.

[YELP REVIEW: WORKING EQUITATION EDITION]

Reviewed by Goldie (1.5 stars)

PROS

  • Crowd Support (5/5): The humans who cheered deserve raises

  • Snack Potential (2/5): Arena snacks were theoretical, not actual

CONS

  • Jump Design (0/5): Stripes are clearly a psychological experiment

  • Fake Plants (1/5): At least three could have been snakes

  • Exit Options (Blocked): My polite departure was denied. Rude.

FINAL VERDICT"Barely survived. Would not recommend (but might reconsider with premium carrots)."


[OFFICIAL MANAGEMENT RESPONSE]

From: The Carrot Dispenser

We appreciate your feedback and apologize for:

  1. The "decorative" poles (now banned)

  2. The suspicious plants (now carrying identification)

  3. Your thwarted escape attempt (per Union Rule 12.3)

Compensation includes:

  • Double carrots

  • A signed apology from the scariest jump

  • "I Survived" stickers for your saddle pad

Final Rating of Goldie: 5/5"Still our favorite diva. Would train again (with hazard pay)."

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