Love What You Choose
The key to creating a life well lived is to love what you choose. The secret to doing that is to realize just how much of what you experience is actually array of choices you make. Some of this is obvious, but not all.
The things that tend to annoy us:
- crumby other drivers
- jerky government officials
- garbage bags that break on the way to the can
or that scare us:
- deadlines that loom
- mean friends
- abusive spouses
or that get us into a depressed state
- world conflict
- broken politics
- pandemic disease
- animal abuse
all reflect passions with choices in how we shall cope with them.
While we choose to care about such things and their many components and similar other issues, how we choose to deal with that caring will define for us the overall quality of our life. Starting with a small one:
Rotten Other Drivers
You know these people. They’re dangerous behind the wheel. They’re a scourge. A menace, and you are well within your rights to think so. Most likely these are also people you would rather not spend some quality time with. Getting into an accident with them will instantly create that quality time you don’t want to have with them.
While anyone would understand how you might wish to express your displeasure with their driving – ultimately the best thing to do with these ‘idiot drivers’ is avoid them. If somebody cuts you off and you have to slam on your breaks or pull off to the shoulder don’t rev up and try to catch them so you can give them a piece of your mind. Instead you’ll really be offering your own ‘peace of mind‘ and they don’t deserve that! Just thank your lucky stars and your own good driving skills, that you didn’t have to smack into them and continue to steer clear.
A Series of Choices
Ultimately the nastier things in life are like that little driving scenario. They will happen – but you don’t have to engage in them reactively. You can deal with your need to do something about whatever subject is bothering you or making you sad by making proactive choices.
For me, animal abuse is a hot button issue. I am connected with a ton of people who care about this on Facebook. Many get mired in their ongoing judgement of the abusers without engaging in actions that help alleviate the suffering nor legislate change to get people to stop the abuse. They get righteously worked up and then bottom out into a depression they share with us all. Meanwhile, all this energy their expending isn’t doing much good. How they’re choosing to deal with this issue is to ‘sing to the choir’ ugly songs without finding ways or people to connect with who can spark real change. They’re miserable or at least that’s how they appear in my news feed.
I try to focus on what I can do to inspire change rather than continue to spout off about the actions that need changing. Blowing steam doesn’t do much for my happiness. Rolling up my sleeves and getting busy does.